Nosy Can Be Good

Does he know you would help?

No one likes to be nosy. No one likes it when people are “all up in my business.” There is this unwritten rule in our culture that we just need to deal with our lives and leave everyone else to themselves. I’ve got to be honest…

I despise that.

Perhaps we’ve overreacted to the ugly gossip columns, tabloid headlines, and the never-ending drama the press puts us through. We don’t want to be seen as one of those people who has their nose in everyone’s business.

This is disastrous.

Think about it. Suicides, murders, adulterous affairs, divorce, spirals of addiction..they strike at the core of our society everyday. The people who deal with this stuff are our neighbors, our brothers, our parents, our friends.

Where is the compassion? Where is the realness, the honesty?

When will we begin to break free from the walls we set around ourselves and enter into genuine community with those around us? Can we love people  in such an honest, genuine way that we can be free to share with each other the pain and hurt we experience on a daily basis?

It will take time.

We can’t just go up to people and say, “So what’s your deepest darkest secret? Huh? Huh? Can I help? Please?” That won’t work…in fact, you may freak people out. Instead, maybe you can be the co-worker who builds trust through being a servant in your workplace.

Your co-workers may seek your advice if they see you are a genuine, caring person. Maybe it takes spending an extra minute chatting with someone at the gym, or McDonalds, or wherever. Do we make ourselves available or do we just assume people will come to us?

Today, we ate at McDonalds. I saw an older couple. The woman kept drawing my attention. She seemed hurt. She seemed at her wits’ end, worn down. I ended up taking their trash up for them, but I wonder if I could have done more.

What do you think? Do you agree that there is a lack of genuine community/relationship these days? Maybe the small act of kindness or the five minute conversation you have with someone will be the encouragement they need to keep from making a tragic decision.

Will you Become Last today?

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Nosy Can Be Good

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Nosy Can Be Good « Becoming Last -- Topsy.com

  2. Absolutely. A great post! We need constant reminding that community takes work and sometimes our culture gets in the way of God’s culture.

  3. Thanks for responding Jason. Community does take work. It’s much more than saying “hey, how’s it going?” these days, that’s like saying, “Hi…Hi.”

  4. I agree. Being nosy is a good thing. I think it will also open people up to ask for help on the reverse side. If they believe people genuinely care about what is going on in their life… their hurts, fears, etc. then they will be more inclined to “go deeper” and admit needing help with something. I think so many people are afraid to let their guard down and be willing to ask for help. Be it medical bills, child care, car situations, etc. But that is what we are here for. We were designed by God to be relational creatures and care for each other’s needs. That’s why God said it is not good for man to be alone… he created women to be the nosy ones and find out what the others’ needs are 😉 hee hee. Joke against my own kind, I know it’s sad.

    • Thanks Cheri. It’s hard to be honest with people about your dirt, but it’s so much more freeing (and healthy) than dealing with it all yourself.

  5. Great reminder Matt! This is something that I have been trying be a lot more intentional about doing lately.

  6. Nicholas Ferguson

    Good post Matt!

    I feel that though we speak of ‘community’ and being ‘relational,’ we often lean towards ‘superficiality.’ This is a real shame, especially in the church – this is not God’s way. Its only through our openess that we build trust and give permission for others to be open too.

    As you said, it’s not wise to be up in people’s faces asking their ‘deepest darkest secrets,’ but over time, as we show genuine interest in them (without agenda), we’ll be given windows of opportunity to serve and learn from one another.

  7. Nicholas – Thanks for joining in! You pegged it. Superficiality runs rampant and it’s a killer. People can smell fakeness from a mile away.

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