Realization #3 – Becoming Last Begins at Home
My last two days have been very humbling. As I attempt to live a life that puts others first I constantly find parts of me screaming, “Me, Me, Me!” Habits are hard to break and I look forward to it becoming easier to lay my life down.
I’m proud of my wife. She volunteered to serve her parents by helping paint their kitchen this morning. I love the fact that her heart agrees with mine.
On to my realization. She gets home from serving and I pick up my keys to go get a haircut. I can tell she’s hurting a little and so I ask, “what’s up?” It was then that I realized I was just doing my own thing without actually thinking about her feelings or concerns. First, she had just gotten home. She wants to see me. Second, she had been wanting to take our son to get a haircut so she asked if I could wait until after his nap.
Oh man…I could feel “self” just becoming enraged inside of me. I had been planning on going at this time all morning. What an inconvenience to change my plans now. Then…
It hit me. Like a ton of bricks. Followed by a semi. A semi carrying a ton of bricks. I was being completely selfish. I was asserting my own rights and ignoring her needs and feelings. I love my wife. I hate the side of me who doesn’t show that.
I quickly apologized and we went together after his nap. Lessons are hard, but there is an excitement building inside of me I can’t explain. God is really hammering home this putting others first stuff.